I was reading Scott Middleton’s blog and was particularly intrigued by his comment about compromise. He said that ‘compromising brings up pictures of not chasing what you want from life or settling for something that isn’t completely what you’re after’. He then asked ‘isn’t an agreement reached between two people without compromise the best possible agreement they could reach?’ While I believe he was talking about compromise in business relationships, his comment can be applied to relationships between men and women.
All too often I see my friends settling for men that aren’t quite what they want. They compromise themselves, give up many of the things they love, try to convince themselves that they can make do and then wonder why they are so unhappy. They put themselves in a less-than-ideal situation possibly because they are afraid of being alone and then bitch and moan about it. They try desperately to change the man they are with and ‘work things out’. They turn the nice guy into the not-so-nice guy because they are dissatisfied and end up nagging, nagging, nagging and driving him so crazy he doesn’t feel like doing nice things or making an effort.
I agree with Scott’s statement that if two people need to compromise themselves (or sacrifice the things they want and love) then ‘why don’t they both find others they can agree with, without compromise?’ Why don’t we women quit compromising ourselves and start chasing the tail we really want instead of blaming the sub-standard guy we have settled for?
I have written a list of all the things I believe women should not sacrifice. I think it can apply to men also.
Only choose to be with a man/woman who:
• You can trust and who trusts you
• Respects you
• Fulfils you sexually and emotionally
• Is intellectually stimulating
• Lets you be yourself in the bedroom
• Supports you emotionally and can communicate
• Is emotionally mature and can express his/her feelings
• Knows what he/she wants in life and has a strong sense of self
• Is happy to meet friends and family
• Believes you can achieve your goals and is proud of you
• Is interested in you and the things you like
• Is motivated and motivating
• Makes you laugh
Image courtesy of Strykowski